Like a bat out of hell

So, we get back from the bar totally disappointed. My friend, a big Sens fan, watched Ottawa lose to Toronto in OT. We got all excited for the Klitschko-Austin fight, but it was over (the big Ukrainian with the K.O.) after a round and a half. And then the Flames, surprise surprise, looked awfully mediocre in their own OT loss, a game they should have had.

We sit on the couch, feeling kind of down, and watch Brad Richards respond blandly to the usual After Hours questions from Kelly Hrudey while flipping occasionally to Sportsnet Connected, where they repeatedly show footage of Tampa winning the Cup in ’04. Great, right? But things are only getting started.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a black blur. My friend sees something too. And then it emerges.

“Dude, that’s a fuckin’ bat.”

It flies upstairs. We grab a blanket and a pillow and follow, going room to room, eliminating options and shutting doors. And then we see it, in the den, hanging from a bookshelf. It’s like a dark gerbil, almost cute. But it has teeth.

My friend tosses the blanket in its direction, but the bat avoids the attempted capture and flies my way. I duck and swing the pillow meekly, missing, but scaring it enough that it heads towards the floor. Quickly, my friend covers the bat with the blanket and softly wraps it up.

A few minutes later, it’s all over. We take the blanket into the street, open it up, and let the bat gain its senses. When it does, it takes to the sky, silently flapping through the beams created by streetlights and disappearing into the distance.

As it flies away, I think, “we’ve done right by this animal. We’ve put good into the world where evil would have been acceptable.” And I send these good feelings towards the Calgary Flames. I decide the bat represents the demons that haunt the team: The bad coaching decisions, the underachieving veterans, the evil spirit that follows them on the road.

If that bat can disappear peacefully into the night, so can those demons.

True story.

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~ by duncan on March 11, 2007.

5 Responses to “Like a bat out of hell”

  1. Wow. I’m… speechless?

  2. We can only hope…

  3. I’ve almost resigned myself to this clubs underachievement. At least during the regular season. For whatever reason, it seems impossible that the boys will actually put everything together before the play-offs…

    Basically, I’m hoping we draw a good first round match-up (ie; not Nashville) and get hot once the real stuff begins.

  4. ummm… sorry to say it but a bat flying around is generally deemed bad luck. i won’t go into detail but let’s just say it’s happened to me once. so hopefully the bat has nothing to do with the hockey…

  5. I’ve almost resigned myself to this clubs underachievement. At least during the regular season.

    I hate to admit it but I think I have too.

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